A MAiD Story
Part I: “I just want to know I have a choice
Nora was 71 when she first whispered the word MAiD.
It came quietly, during a late afternoon visit from her palliative nurse.
The cancer had returned. Her bones ached. Her breath shortened.
But it was the loss of agency—the way her days began to feel scripted by pain—that weighed most heavily.
“I’m not saying I want to die,” she said. *”But I want to know I don’t have to go all the way to the edge to be allowed a softer ending.”
Her daughter, Clara, sat beside her on the couch, eyes red from earlier tears.
They both understood what the nurse’s words meant: that MAiD was legal, possible—and available to explore.
Not as a promise.
As a pathway.
They didn’t make any decisions that day.
They just made space for one.
“We didn’t decide that day. We just made space for something gentler to begin.”
🌸Practical Insights
MAiD begins with questions—not commitments.
In Canada, any capable adult can ask about Medical Assistance in Dying. You do not need to be terminal to start the conversation.
You can self-refer, or speak with your family doctor, palliative team, or local health authority.
If you’re just beginning to explore MAiD, ask yourself:
Do I truly want my life to end—or am I hoping for a different kind of relief?
Is the suffering I’m experiencing truly beyond what I can bear—or beyond what I’ve been supported to carry?
Have I spoken honestly with anyone I trust about what I’m considering?
There’s no urgency in reflection. Only room to begin.
Part II: “It’s not just about dying—it’s about how I want to live until then.
A week later, Nora filled out her official MAiD request with help from her care team.
Her longtime neighbour witnessed it—with hands slightly shaking, but heart steady.
What followed were two independent assessments—one in person, one by video.
The questions were clear:
Did she understand the process?
Was she choosing freely?
Did she have access to support?
Had she been informed of alternatives?
She passed both assessments.
She qualified.
But qualifying didn’t mean she stopped wondering.
“I’m not rushing,” she told Clara. “I just want to know this option is mine, in case my body keeps closing doors.”
Together, they started making plans—not for death, but for the time before it.
“This isn’t about ending something. It’s about reclaiming how I move through it.”
🌸Practical Insights
To be eligible for MAiD, you must:
Be at least 18 years old
Be capable of informed consent
Have a serious, irreversible condition
Be experiencing enduring and intolerable suffering that cannot be relieved in a way acceptable to you
A written request is required, along with two assessments by independent clinicians.
Once approved:
Track 1: You may proceed when ready
Track 2: A 90-day waiting period applies after the first assessment. You must explore additional support options during this time.
Part III: “Some days I doubt. Most days, I don’t.”
In the weeks that followed, Nora prepared—gently. She reached out to a death doula—not for answers, but for presence.
Together, they created what Nora called her Gentle Death Plan:
She would die at home
With sunlight on her face
With her favorite nurse present, and Clara by her side
With Leonard Cohen playing… soft piano… and birdsong through the window
But not everyone found peace in the planning.
Her son, James, refused to visit. “You’re giving up,” he said.
Nora didn’t argue. She simply wrote him a letter he might not read until after she was gone.
Clara struggled too—cycling through tears, guilt, and flashes of silent resentment.
But she stayed. She asked questions. She breathed through the ache.
And over time, she understood:
This isn’t about agreeing.
It’s about accompanying.
“Being present doesn’t mean you understand. It means you choose not to look away.”
🌸Practical Insights
MAiD affects more than just the individual. Emotional support is essential—for everyone involved.
Grief often begins before death. This is called anticipatory grief.
Some loved ones may struggle, disagree, or withdraw. The individual’s legal right to MAiD remains.
Ways to offer support:
Join conversations with the care team or death doula
Help design meaningful rituals
Write letters or record legacy messages
Be present—even in uncertainty
Support services are available for both patients and families.
Part IV: “Tuesday feels right.
Nora chose a date that gave her space. Enough time to say goodbye to close friends. To record a video for her granddaughter. To sit in silence with Clara. To change her mind—if she needed to.
She never did.
On the morning of her provision:
The nurse arrived and inserted the IV
The physician confirmed her consent one final time
Nora drank tea, listened to music, and looked out the open window
“It’s not peace like people talk about,” she said.
“It’s not the absence of fear. It’s that I’ve made the fear smaller than the love.”
She died with Clara holding one hand.
And her favorite nurse holding the other.
“She didn’t slip away. She stepped into something she had chosen.”
🌸Practical Insights
Most MAiD provisions in Canada are clinician-administered via IV.
The steps typically include:
A sedative to relax the body
A coma-inducing drug
A final medication that stops the heart
Consent must be confirmed immediately before administration. If capacity is lost—due to confusion, sedation, or sudden decline—MAiD cannot proceed unless a Waiver of Final Consent (Advance Consent) was signed during assessment.
Only Track 1 patients are currently eligible for this waiver.
Track 2 patients are not eligible at this time, under Bill C-7.
Part V: “I was there. I walked her home.”
After Nora died, Clara remained by her side. She made tea. Played the rest of the playlist. Sat in stillness.
The funeral home arrived later—gently, without rush.
To her friends, Clara said: “It didn’t feel like a medical procedure. It felt like a closing. Like a sacred door being opened and walked through.”
But grief still came. Not cleaner. Not smaller. Just… softer.
Held, perhaps, by the knowledge that Nora had not been taken. She had chosen. And Clara had walked beside her.
🌸Practical Insights
After a MAiD death:
A standard death certificate is issued (typically listing the underlying condition)
The family may remain with the body as long as needed
Funeral arrangements follow standard processes
Grief support is essential and often underestimated. Consider:
Bereavement counselling
Grief groups or circles
Storytelling or legacy writing
Connecting with others who’ve walked this path
Final Thoughts
If you are considering MAiD—or supporting someone who is—you don’t have to face this alone.
This is not about certainty.
It’s about clarity.
And the right to meet the inevitable with presence, softness, and choice.
You deserve steady answers.
You deserve emotional room to breathe.
And you deserve support—without pressure or judgment.
I’m here if you need that kind of space.
⟡This story-based resource was created by Alessandra Sagredo at www.endoflifehelp.caFor support around MAiD, emotional readiness, or legacy planning in British Columbia, offering grounded, nonjudgmental guidance—one steady step at a time.
